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Off Beat News Items

Mistaken Dial Uncovers Meth Lab

A man wanted to wage a complaint to a local radio station about not having received a FEMA trailer after Hurricane Katrina, but he needed the number. Instead of dialing Information, he dialed Emergency and exposed his methamphetamine lab.

A Escatawpa, Miss man was upset and wanted to let a Biloxi radio station know it. 53 year old Curtiss Randall Coleman meant to dial 411 in his search for the number to WLOX-TV, but ended up dialing 911 instead. Realizing he misdialed, Coleman hung up on the emergency dispatcher. Calling back, the dispatcher received a busy signal, which prompted a police response to visit Coleman's residence.

Police arrived at Coleman's residence and knocked on the door. Nobody came to the door so the deputies, thinking someone inside was in need of help, entered the home. "Upon entry, they came across three subjects in the house and an active meth lab," Said Sgt. Curtis Spears of the Jackson County Narcotics Task Force. He called the incident "a calamity of errors on Mr. Coleman's part,"

Coleman and the three others, one of them his 30 year old son, were arrested and charged with conspiracy to manufacture methamphetamine. A forth suspect, Allen Dean Harrell, currently on probation for a previous meth conviction, remains at large.

Theater Lover's Yearbook Photo Banned Because of a Rose

A Merrimack High School senior's photo has been banned from appearing in the yearbook because she is holding a prop; a rose. The photo, as it stands uncropped, can however, be placed in an ad slot should she choose to purchase one.

Melissa Morin won't make her yearbook this year, at least not without cropping the photo she had taken while holding a rose. The senior at Merrimack High School in Merrimack, NH was informed that her photo was rejected because she was holding something in her hand.

The school has a policy against props being held in yearbook photos, a move stemming from controversial picture that didn't make the yearbook in Londonderry, NH in 2005. That student had his picture taken while posing with his gun, which signified his love for trapshooting. Morin's love of theater prompted her picture's layout to include a rose.

Manchester photographer Brett Mallard says "I totally understand that schools have a right to dictate policy". Mallard then stated, "I think the issue is people need to be made aware that we've thrown common sense out the window."

Morin's mother said she wasn’t aware of the no prop policy, and even goes so far as sympathizing with it, but there is a limit to that sympathy. "I understand (the school's) dilemma in trying to make it black and white ... and not blur the line," said Kathie Roy. "On the other hand, if something is allowed in the classroom, something benign, then I think it's perfectly acceptable (to allow it in a photograph)."

Morin argues that some of the photos in last year's yearbook displayed students leaning against trees and questions if the trees should also be considered props.

Morin's senior photo can be cropped to remove the rose, or it can be placed in an advertisement slot on a rear page if a slot is purchased. Moran wonders if the picture is good enough to end up in the rear advertisement section, it should be good enough to display in the senior portion.

According to the school's policy, hats are also part of the prop ban and cannot be worn in yearbook photos.

Heads Are Gonna Roll! (and Blink)

In light of the increasing media coverage over the plethora of beheadings in recent news, I thought it would be absolutely inappropriate to bring a few facts to the forefront.

According to the authors of 'Does Anything Eat Wasps?" and after their intense search for answers to the question of possible continued existence after a severing, it was found that there is indeed a short period of time where the brain still functions, both cognitively and in motor, even in light of the disconnection.

Since the ponderous question rose to the attention of spectators during the age of guillotine executions, it was finally put to the test by one curious bystander. "The condemned were asked to blink their eyes if they were still conscious after the knife fell" the literature reads. A good deal of blinking occurred, up to 30 seconds after the dislodging as a matter of fact.

Whether conscious or spasmodic is anyone's guess. The fact is, there was an awful lot of blinking going on, and it seemed to have taken the brain a little time to realize that its vehicle was a runaway.

Attention Please!

A 45 year old Bosnian man recently staged his own funeral. The purpose of the charade was to see who of his friends would actually attend. The man went to great lengths to con a death certificate and a graveside burial, complete with an empty casket.

After shoveling out an undisclosed sum of money, the 'deceased' hid behind a hedgerow to watch who attended the solemn event. To his shock, only the man's mother had arrived for the burial.

After the closing of the staged event, the dismayed man returned home, penned letters to all his friends and berated them for their lack of respect. The man cited the cost of the funeral as the fuel behind his ire.

Perhaps this attention seeking individual should have spent a few more coins to hire the 'Ghost of Christmas Past' and revisit his life's errors. This souped-up, modernized Ebenezer plot should be a clue to to alter his ways. He might secure a few more loyal friends. While he's at it, he should check his bed sheets to make sure they haven't been sold.